Is love a misnomer?
Back when I was young, I thought if two people were in love there can be nothing that could go wrong between them. As I started to grow older and started understanding things a little better, I could figure out, people truly in love tend to agree over differences and find ways to love each other better on arguments.
But I have this feeling creeping inside me for quite some time that these days, love is commonly misconstrued for some convenience relationship. I vividly recollect my final year days, when we counted the number of girl-guy combinations who were "going" together and expressed their mutual love and it touched 40. Whew! I thought all these people are going to get married in another 3-4 years and lead a fun-filled life. Alas! that was not going to be, hardly 4 or 5 pairs only made it till marriage and beyond.
My personal feeling, these Americans treat love as something like a convenience relationship - more of companionship, than true emotions involved that we always talk about in a love relationship. Ofcourse I am not saying they dont care about the hearts, but all I am saying is they are ready for a break in the relationship in the future. They dont think of marriage for a long time in their love relationship but the first thing that we do when thinking about love is think about getting married.
I see more and more of these cases happening where in its more of a need for companionship and someone who can really take care of you being represented as the person you love.
TO get married is just a big step taken from your love relationship. It involves more of committment and loyalty than just love and being loved. A sustained marriage is not the goal but the liberty you take to encroach upon your spouse's 'own' space makes marriages work beautifully.
Having said all these about love being grossly misrepresented, marrying someone unknown still gives me jitters!
posted by Prabhu @ 1:00 PM
12 Comments:
Enaku oru sandhegam Shanumga .. americavula irundhadha?
" My personal feeling, these Americans treat love as something like a convenience relationship"
America's mattuma? Namba ellam illaya?
-vv
A sustained marriage is not the goal but the liberty you take to encroach upon your spouse's 'own' space makes marriages work beautifully. - I sure couldn't interpret the fast half of this line!
Prabhu,
I dont think love is a misnomer, but just our understandin of it is constantly enriched with time. (read a while back in RS blog)
My personal feeling, these Americans treat love as something like a convenience relationship - more of companionship, than true emotions involved that we always talk about in a love relationship.
But why is it only by Americans ? May be at a lesser extent, but Indians too use the tool of marriage for the very same cause of companionship and I dont see anythin wrong with that, given the societal structure. Days of big family are history and so companionship factors highly in any marriage and will be in the near future.
Okie.. i meant to say "FIRST HALF"!
KSP, onnoda email kku reply panniten,, paaru :D
vj, satish - all i meant in that line was these guys dont think about getting married when falling in love but thats a must criteria for us people. my blog today was that everywhere it is turning to a convenience relationship.
anti - "A sustained marriage is not the goal "
wat i mean is, sustaining a marriage shud not be the only goal and thats not something u can be proud of.
to make it really work and be happy u shuld be in a position to take liberties....
Prabhu,
Onakkenna da jitters ? :) Onakke jitters na, inge mathavanga ellam enna panradhu ? :)
On a serious note, it's hard to characterize love and it's different for different people. Convenience is sometimes misconstrued as love sometimes, I agree. But I guess not much can be done about it..except to let people learn their lessons themselves.
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I think the American way of starting it off is better in the sense, view at it from a different perspective. Rather than seeing it as expecting a break up, see it more as testing the boat before you decide to embark on it for life....see how overlapped your interests are, the compatibility issues and such. Ofcourse, one might argue that this is what you do when you start it off as friends but how many wait untill they get to be best of the best friends to get to know the other person inside out?....lost my thought process somewhere..so here I end it, prematurely.
well anon,
i do not crib about the american way of falling in love and deciding on getting married later. i sometimes admire how these guys set about their lives and interests.
but it feels odd atleast for me to think that love is more of convenience these days rather than a feeling.
well anon,
i do not crib about the american way of falling in love and deciding on getting married later. i sometimes admire how these guys set about their lives and interests.
but it feels odd atleast for me to think that love is more of convenience these days rather than a feeling.
...but it feels odd atleast for me to think that love is more of convenience these days rather than a feeling...
Prabhu,
Yes, I'm sure many of us wud've felt the same away given our vantage point as Indians !
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